Recorded: Welcome to The ReWork with Allison Tyler Jones, a podcast dedicated to inspiring portrait photographers to uniquely brand, profitably price, and confidently sell their best work. Allison has been doing just that for the last 15 years, and she’s proven that it’s possible to create unforgettable art and run a portrait business that supports your family and your dreams. All it takes is a little rework. Episodes will include interviews with experts from in and outside of the photo industry, mini workshops, and behind the scenes secrets that Allison uses in her portrait studio every single day. She will challenge your thinking and inspire your confidence to create a profitable, sustainable portrait business you love through continually refining and reworking your business. Let’s do the rework.
Allison Tyler Jones: Hi friends, and welcome back to The ReWork. If you’re going to spend your days photographing kids, you’re going to need to be part circus, clown part shrink. So taking time to get inside your little clients’ heads and understand each child is an individual is only going to make your job easier and your images more authentic. So this week’s episode is all about laying that groundwork and how to work with some of the most difficult kids to photograph. Let’s do it.
Allison Tyler Jones: Hi friends, and welcome back to The Rework. I’m really looking forward to today’s episode, because it’s a topic that I get a lot of questions about. How do you get those expressions? How do you photograph a kid in a way that shows their real personality? That’s something that every parent wants. They might love beautiful portraits of their kids smiling, looking at the camera. But what they really want is to see what they see every day. Is that personality shining through? So how do you get there?
Allison Tyler Jones: Well, I like to call it kid psych 101, and it all begins with laying the groundwork. That groundwork in our studio starts with the client consultation, and there are certain questions that I ask during that client consultation about each child in the family that we’re photographing. I want to know what their kids are into, what their kids hate, what their personalities are like. So I ask very specific questions of the parents to give me a rundown on each child individually, and then clue me in on what the relationships are between the siblings. This allows me to break the ice with my clients and allows us to get to know each other a bit.
Allison Tyler Jones: Mom needs to see if she likes me well enough to trust me with her kids, and I need to make sure that the client understands my style, how I work, and what I’m going to need from them during the shoot so that there are no surprises when it comes time for the session. Some of the questions that I might ask are obviously the name and ages of the kids, what grade they’re in school. And then we go a little deeper into what are they into, what are they obsessed with these days? Do you have a girly girl, or is she a tomboy? Who’s the athlete? Who’s the bookworm?
Allison Tyler Jones: I have to be careful though, because sometimes moms, they might not like the term tomboy. So I found that sporty, “Is that your sporty girl?” Seems less offensive for some reason. But I’m pretty direct in the questions that I ask. So I might say, “Okay, be honest. Who’s the brat? Who’s the one that’s always in trouble?” And some will kind of take a pause and say, “Well, nobody’s really the brat,” but usually moms will say, “Oh my gosh, it’s number two. He’s just killing us.” And then we can talk about, “That kid’s killing us, but he’s also the most connected to the family. He’s also the life of the party, but he is always causing trouble,” or whatever. So I love to get into the nitty-gritty of the personalities and how they work within the family.
Allison Tyler Jones: I find that my very best clients are really, really checked into their kids. They know intimately every detail of their personality and what they see in each kid. They have a very nuanced explanation of each kid’s personality. And that is so helpful when you’re the portrait photographer, because it gives you a quick in to be able to work with that child. You don’t have to spend as much time warming them up.
Allison Tyler Jones: Other questions I might ask is, “What do they want to be when they grow up? What sibling does she or he get along with the best? Are there any physical characteristics that are unique about this child that you would like highlighted?” Might be a redhead, or freckles, or their front teeth have come out, or maybe they have amazing eyelashes. I always ask if candy and treats are okay because we have an entire candy wall, so I don’t want that to sideline them if they’re going to tell me that their kids can’t have candy, I’m not putting the candy away. I’m just letting them know that it’s there and available, and is there any reason that they would not want us to offer candy to their children?
Allison Tyler Jones: I’ll also ask things like do they have a favorite blankie, toy, or object that is near and dear to them? And what problems do you anticipate, I’m going to run into working with this kid? Have they burned down other photo sessions in the past? Have they been hard to work with? Or what do you think is your child’s best quality? Do they have any unique quirks? Are they a thumb-sucker? Do they twirl their hair? Are there silly expressions?
Allison Tyler Jones: When they’re just laying on the couch alone, maybe absorbed in a book or watching something on TV, what are they doing? When you are observing them and you see your child on a daily basis and you just think, “I just love that kid.” What is it that they’re doing when you see them that way?
Allison Tyler Jones: So those questions and other questions like that help me establish a rapport with the client. It helps them know that I am very interested in each one of their kids as individuals, not just as a collective, and that I want to capture the things that they love. I want to capture that for them. So it gets us into a more collaborative mood.
Allison Tyler Jones: Now when it comes to dealing with the actual child, so we’re in the session, its photo session day, and here comes the kids. I find that respect is the most important thing. I make it a point to treat kids with the same respect and consideration that I extend to their parents. I address them directly. I don’t talk down to them ever. I don’t pat them on the head and kind of, “Hey buddy,” that kind of thing. I talk to them just as if I would talk to their parents.
Allison Tyler Jones: Even when my clients walk into the door with the kids, I welcome the kids first. And if appropriate, I will bend down or kneel, get down to their level, and welcome them. Hold up my hand for a handshake and I will say, “Hi, I’m Allison. It’s nice to meet you.”
Allison Tyler Jones: Now, some kids don’t know what to do with that because it’s never happened before. Some might be a little shy. If the mom has told me that kid number three is super, super shy, then I might approach a more extroverted sibling. Because usually, those extroverted siblings are the ones that are breaking the ice for the shyer kids. At least that’s how it’s been with our family for sure.
Allison Tyler Jones: But I am always surprised at the number of kids who walk up, shake my hand, make eye contact, and then they’re just mine for the shoot because they know that I respect them. So connecting with the kids before I pick up the camera allows the parents to also enjoy the shoot, because rather than having to spend the time micromanaging or threatening their kids to behave, they can sit back and watch the show and enjoy their kids’ antics and personality.
Allison Tyler Jones: So how do we get that personality plus? Well, every kid is different, but there are some common personality traits that I’ve run into regularly. The key I find to a successful session is to find out what makes them tick, and then tailor my interactions to their individual personality traits. So I want to tell you about some of the personality traits that I’ve run into.
Allison Tyler Jones: One of the hardest for me is the slow warmup. That’s a kid who kind of likes to size up the situation before he commits himself. He’s cautious, doesn’t like to be rushed. If you are like me and have a strong gregarious personality, and come on too strong too early, they can go into lockdown. So I’ve learned absolutely the hard way to let the slow warmup come to me, rather than to try and coax him out. So again, I will try to speak to maybe one of the siblings first, maybe the parents, and then refer back to that kid along the way, and see if they’re taking interest in the conversation that we’re having.
Allison Tyler Jones: So, for example, if the slow warmup’s name is Hayden, I might say to Hayden’s older brother, “So does Hayden like video games?” So I might talk about him right in front of him to one of his siblings. And most younger kids cannot stand to have their older siblings speak for them, so they’re going to pipe right up and give the answer, which starts the conversation with you. If there isn’t another sibling around, you can try this with the parent.
Allison Tyler Jones: One thing that has worked really well is sometimes, you’re going to get some kid, usually it’s a toddler… An 18 month old just on principal developmentally, they don’t want to do whatever it is that you want them to do. So in that instance, I will start maybe with an older sibling, because usually that younger kid doesn’t want anything to do with me.
Allison Tyler Jones: So, I might photograph the older sibling, and then we’re having a good time and it’s fun, and that younger kid sees it and he’s like, “Well, hold on a minute. I actually do want to do that.” I might be showing the older child the images on the back of my camera and, “Oh my gosh, that’s so cool. That’s so fun.” And then that younger kid might slowly come over and be interested, and want to participate in that.
Allison Tyler Jones: Sometimes the older or another sibling can convince them to get in the shot. But I find if it’s a younger kid that’s the slow warmup and the older kid is trying to strong arm them into it, that is a very familiar dynamic and they don’t want to do that. In that case, I might say, “Hey,” to the older kid, “Leave them alone. They don’t have to listen to you. You’re not the boss of them.” And you can watch the younger kid, “Yeah, you’re not the boss of me.” So I try to get a sense for the dynamic, what they do and don’t like. And then for that slower warmup, I will take their part and champion what they’re thinking, and get them on my side.
Allison Tyler Jones: Another common type of personality that I see is the sassy pants, also known as the bossy cow. Usually an oldest girl or maybe an only girl. The sassy pants has a personality that is large and in charge. She’s going to tell you how to do it. She comes in at three or four years old, and she’s got all the ideas for all the shoots that you need to do. “I want to smile like this, and I want to stand like this.” And she’s going to tell you how to do your job. So if you’re not careful, she will try to call all the shots.
Allison Tyler Jones: This personality type can also be the one that’s strong arming the younger siblings. And while it seems like she really wants everything on her own terms, what she really wants is for you to like and approve of her, thus the big performance.
Allison Tyler Jones: So, getting the sassy pants on your side early in the shoot I have found very helpful. So pull her aside. I’ll pull her aside and say, “Okay, I need your help with something. Can you make sure that all the shoes are lined up over there?” Or, “See those three stools? I need you to be in charge of making sure that they don’t get under the light. Just push them against the wall and don’t let them get under the light.”
Allison Tyler Jones: So, it’s just some made up task. You put a sassy pants in charge of it, and they’re going to be thrilled and happy, and feel like they’re on your side. And you’re not trying to tell them not to boss people around, because that’s not going to work. But give them something to be in charge of. It feeds into their need to be in charge and their need to please you.
Allison Tyler Jones: One way I found into the heart of a sassy pants, especially if it’s a family portrait, is that I will put the sassy pants in charge of her parents. Especially if there’s a dynamic where the parents are trying to put the sassy pants in a box and, “You need to listen to Ms. Allison,” or that sort of thing. I will let them know, “Oh no, actually she’s in charge of you.” And that’s where you can get some really great expressions because they can start to laugh like, “Yeah, I’m in charge of you.” And then you can watch and see what they do with their body language and how the parents react to it. It’s really fun.
Allison Tyler Jones: I’ve said things like, “I need you to be in charge of your mom and dad. Don’t let them get off those chairs over there, or they are going to be in such big trouble.” And so, her reaction to be assigned as the disciplinarian can bring a whole new energy to the shoot, which is really fun. Always in that initial consultation with the client, the parents, I am letting them know, “Do not talk to your kids and do not boss your kids around during the shoot. I’ve got the kids. And if you try to,” which inevitably they will, “It’s going to be me and the kids against you.” And so that’s part of how we get the expressions is that the photographer and the kids gang up on the parents, and they think it’s hilarious and fun.
Allison Tyler Jones: Now, what sometimes happens is I will let the mom know that, because typically she’s the one during the consultation that will come in during the consultation, and maybe dads not there. And if you get a real type A dad that comes in and hasn’t been clued into that dynamic, it can be a little fraught.
Allison Tyler Jones: But when they start seeing the expressions happening, they usually get on board. Very rare that you’re going to get a dad that’s a real hard A and is not going to let you run it. And even still, I can pull them aside and be like, “Look, help me help you. Stop glowering at your kid. Stop threatening your kid. This should be fun. We’re going to have a good time. Help me out here.” It doesn’t always work, but that’s a rare thing. I’ll usually let them know before we even head back into the studio, “I’ve got this.” “Hey, you guys.” I’ll say to the kids, “Who do you think you need to listen to for the next 45 minutes to an hour?” And they’ll kind of look around, maybe say, “You.” And I’m like, “Yep. And if your parents talk to you, they’re going to be in huge trouble. So let me know they try to talk to you. They might have to have a timeout.” And if they’re little kids, they just love that. They think it’s hilarious.
Allison Tyler Jones: Another typical type of child that you may or may not have come into contact with, I think we all have, is the difficult child. So I know that this type of kid is coming when the parents run down the list of kids, and they’ll say something like, “Well, and then there’s Jack.” If they’re a real positive parent, they might say, “Jack is a little high-spirited,” or some other euphemism that basically means this kid is a total nightmare. Or some moms are super honest and very circumspect about their kids and just be like, “He’s basically a nightmare. He’s either going to be the president of the United States or he’s going to be in jail. We don’t really know which one, but it’s going to be dramatic, whatever it is.”
Allison Tyler Jones: Now, most photographers develop ulcers at the thought of dealing with this type of kid, but this type of kid is my favorite. I love it when a mom is kind of hesitating and like, “Well, he’s going to be kind of hard.” That’s how I know that’s going to be my favorite kid.
Allison Tyler Jones: Difficult kids, even some babies sense that you need something from them, and they are simply determined not to give it to you. So they may run away from you. They may make crazy faces. They might burst into tears at the slightest provocation. And you might coax, and cajole, and parents threaten, and still it’s just not going to happen. And the thing is you can’t make them do it, so there’s no point in taking them head on and taking that kind of approach. And sometimes, even the bribery doesn’t work. You want something out of them. They don’t want to give it to you, so you’re in this tug of war. So when you find yourself on one side of a tug of war, I really believe that it’s time to put the rope down. And the four magic words that will instantly release that rope and relieve that tension are, “You don’t have to.”
Allison Tyler Jones: Now, it might seem crazy, because of course, while they may not have to cooperate, as the professional photographer, you actually do have to get that shot. But trust me, saying those four words can take the pressure off in the moment and give you some space to solve the problem of how to best gain this child’s cooperation.
Allison Tyler Jones: So, I had a little girl that came in with a family one time. She was a middle child. She has a pretty complicated personality. So we are doing a multi-gen shoot. We’re getting everybody where they need to be. And every time I looked over at her, she was very, very fair, almost white hair, like borderline albino. She was so, so fair. So any expression, was immediately she turned beat red.
Allison Tyler Jones: And so, I’m getting everybody where they need to be. And every time I looked at her, she was just getting redder and redder, and then all of a sudden she just burst into tears out of nowhere. And so, I immediately just put the camera down and I said, “Avery, what’s wrong?” And she just screamed out, “I hate taking pictures.” Well, immediately mom and grandma start trying to coax her and getting her to comply. And you can immediately see what the normal dynamic is, right? Everybody’s like, “How do we just placate Avery so that we can get something done?” But she knows that trope. She knows how that works, and she knows that she’s not going to make it work.
Allison Tyler Jones: So, I just put my camera down and I said, “Okay, you don’t have to. You don’t have to take pictures.” And mom and grandma look over at me like, “Yeah, she does.” But that literally was just putting that rope down. And I let her sit with that thought for a second. So she kind of was looking at me like, “What magic are you speaking woman?” So I asked her, I said, “Hey, come over here. Can I tell you a secret? But I don’t want anybody else to hear it.” She was pretty wary, but she came over.
Allison Tyler Jones: And here’s the thing. Difficult kids are usually really, really freaking smart kids, and they can smell manipulation a mile away. So she was on her guard with me. So I whispered in her ear, “Wouldn’t it be funny if when we’re done taking pictures, I’m going to pretend to get a picture of grandpa and you together. You’re going to stand behind him. And then when we’re taking that picture, you can spank his bum, and I’ll get a picture of him saying, ‘Ouch.'” And she started to laugh and thought that was going to be so funny.
Allison Tyler Jones: Okay, so here’s a middle child. Obviously it’s all about the oldest child, or the baby, or whatever. They have three girls. She’s the middle girl. So it’s never probably about her. And so her only way to get attention is that she’s going to burn something down. It’s just normal. And so, I’m bringing her over, telling her she doesn’t have to do it. And in fact, wouldn’t it be funny if we could do something fun together, that just only she and I know about? So she’s like, “Yeah.” And I said, “Okay, so you don’t have to, but if you wanted to, maybe we could take a few pictures with you and your sisters and grandma and grandpa. And then at the end, we’re going to do that picture with you and grandpa. Okay?” And so she’s like, “Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay.”
Allison Tyler Jones: So, she was mine. She was willing to do whatever I wanted, as long as I was willing to just acknowledge her, respect her wishes, see that she didn’t want to do pictures, and then give her something fun that she could be in charge of.
Allison Tyler Jones: So, this secret that came about during this session, I’ve used again and again. I used it recently with my own grandson, who is also coincidentally a middle child, was throwing a fit and put on his clothes, didn’t want to do anything. And so his mom was in the bathroom with him trying to get him dressed and ready, and it wasn’t happening.
Allison Tyler Jones: And so, I asked if I could come in and talk to him. She said sure. I went in and I just said, “Hey, you don’t have to do this.” And he’s still crying, snot running out of his nose. And I said, “You don’t have to do pictures.” Still very suspicious of me. And I said, “Davis and Calvin, your older brothers, they’re out there. We’re going to take some pictures. Hey, do you like candy? Do you like toys?” “Yeah.” I’m like, “Okay. Well, Davis and Calvin are going to get some candy and toys once we’re done taking pictures, but you don’t have to do it, so you don’t have to do it. But do you want some candy? Do you want some toys?” “Yeah.” “Okay. Well, how about you could put your clothes on, and we could take a few pictures, and you can help me figure out where mom and dad are going to sit and where we want Davis and Calvin to sit? And then once we’re done, then you could get some toys and some candy. Would you want to do that?” Yeah, as he’s wiping the snot up his nose.
Allison Tyler Jones: “Okay, well how about, do you want to put your pants on? In the picture, do you want to have pants on?” “Yeah.” “How about shoes? Do you think you should have shoes on in the picture?” “Yeah.” And then he came out with me and I said, “Okay, where do you think mom should sit?” And I just let him point where he wanted his mom to sit, and where he wanted his dad to sit. And of course, I fixed it. I moved them over. I got them where I wanted them to be.
Allison Tyler Jones: He was a perfect angel the rest of the shoot, because I just let him see that he didn’t have to do it and that he could have some control. And he could control what fun things were going to happen for him later. That’s probably if you listen to nothing else in the podcast, you don’t have to with the difficult child. But you really can’t be tricky with that. You can’t be like, “Hey, you don’t have to. Okay, do you want some more candy?” You have to go slow and sit with the moment, and let them really hear, “We don’t have to do this. You don’t have to.” It really works. It’s pretty amazing.
Allison Tyler Jones: If you’re a portrait photographer, you know the next few months are going to be crazy. This is our busy season, and how to make the most of that busy season is to make sure that our client communication is in order, that we are not having clients showing up with the wrong clothing, that we are not having clients shocked in our sales appointments by our pricing, and needing to go home and measure, or going home and asking their husband, and then sales burning down, and our clients not getting what they need, and we not being able to build a sustainable business. So how are we going to make sure that this season is the most successful that it possibly can be?
Allison Tyler Jones: Well, it starts by getting on the same page with your clients so that nothing is left to chance. And how I’ve done this is that I’ve spent the last 13 years revising my own internal consultation form. Which by the way, you can download the consultation form that I use in my business absolutely free.
Allison Tyler Jones: But I realized after tweaking that form for about 13 years, that I needed something more. And it wasn’t just a pretty brochure, and it wasn’t a price list with no context. Because we all know you can send the price list to somebody, and they’re still shocked by the price because they never looked at it or they have no idea what those prices even mean. It’s happened to all of us.
Allison Tyler Jones: What I realized is I needed a single printed piece for my client to take away with them that would leave nothing to chance, and that would allow me to educate my clients about the price range of my products. It would help them to understand what we would and wouldn’t be shooting for during their portrait session, like actually creating a game plan for what is it that we’re actually going to be shooting for, and let’s prioritize that.
Allison Tyler Jones: And then also, something that would allow the clients to feel confident about selecting the clothing for their session and a printed piece that would allow them to share with their spouse and be able to put together the game plan for their session.
Allison Tyler Jones: So, I needed it to be part brochure, part getting ready guide, part last minute checklist, and part consultation form. Because my consultation form was internal. I was keeping that form, but I wanted this printed piece to go with my clients. And I wanted it to be sexy and good looking, and that they felt completely and totally cared for. So I wanted all of this in a single booklet that the client would take with them at the end of their consultation.
Allison Tyler Jones: Now, I’ve been using this. I created it about five years ago. It’s called the ATJ Game Plan Booklet, and I started off by using it in my studio, and I’ve been revising it for the last five years. And now for the first time ever, I’m offering it to the ReWork community to use in your portrait studio.
Allison Tyler Jones: So, what’s included in that? In this course, it’s a little mini course, not a big long course, there’s a video lesson with me on how to use the Game Plan Booklet In your consultation. You will also have a video recording of an actual client consultation with me and a client using the booklet in real time. And then you’ll have layered PSD files of the Game Plan Booklet that we use in our studio every day, as well as a PDF version of the latest and greatest ATJ consultation form.
Allison Tyler Jones: So, all of that is included for just a one-time payment of 295. Just 295 to completely change the way that you interact with your clients, the information that they have, how taken care of they feel by making things transparent to them. Putting together the game plan for the session so that everybody’s on the same page. We all know what we’re shooting for. We know how much it’s going to cost, they know what to wear. Everybody’s on the same page. This is the document. This is the booklet that has changed my business, and I want you to have it too if it works for you.
Allison Tyler Jones: So go to dotherework.com/gameplan. That’s dotherework.com/gameplan and download that booklet, and start using it in your business this busy season. I know that the Game Plan Booklet will be a game changer for your business.
Allison Tyler Jones: Okay. Now, another kid that you might see is what we call the wild card. So the wild card is never going to sit still. He’s constantly making silly faces, torturing his siblings. Disruption is the name of the game, and this kid just does not know when to quit. They’re looking for attention, and they’re going to take it however they can get it. Again, I love the naughty ones. I love this kind of kid, because they introduce an unpredictable element that keeps the shoot from becoming too posed or boring.
Allison Tyler Jones: Now, that doesn’t mean that they’re not annoying. But if I can keep my higher goal in mind, I can put up with just about anything to get a great shot, because I don’t have to discipline this kid. I don’t have to raise him. I have to just get great images of him and his family. So, I found the best approach for dealing with the wild cards is to dangle the carrot. Broker some kind of a deal that includes the end of a shoot, like a karate fest, or whatever they’re dying to try in front of your camera. He just needs to give you a few of your boring shots first, right?
Allison Tyler Jones: So, “Okay, this is what we’re going to do. I love that you want to do a karate chop on your brother. I need this, this, and this first, and then we’re going to do the karate chop. Deal?” And usually they will make that deal, because if they can get to do the fun thing that they want to do, they’re going to play ball.
Allison Tyler Jones: What doesn’t work with this kind of kid is to make them wait all the way through the shoot to the end. So I found getting a couple shots that you want, let them do something crazy, a couple shots that you want, let them do something crazy. That back and forth method works better for younger kids that just can’t delay the gratification as easily as maybe an older wild card could. So think of some of the common types of clients that you are dealing with.
Allison Tyler Jones: So, think of some of the common kids that you’re dealing with. Is there a certain type of kid that just drives you crazy, that is really hard for you to deal with? For me, that would be the super, super shy kid. And I’ve learned that I’m actually not that great with a super shy kid. So, Stacy, when she comes in and is assisting with me, she’s in charge of the super shy and she’s in charge of the newborns, because she just has a calmer energy. And so it’s helpful. Sometimes, you just can’t work with every type of kid, so it helps to have an assistant that’s maybe a little bit different than you are.
Allison Tyler Jones: Now, what about the parents? I found the key to successful parent interaction is managing expectations. So setting that tone of the shoot ahead of time in the consultation, letting them know how we work, what they can expect, what you need from them to make the shoot a success goes a long way toward making the shoot be smooth, allowing them to relax a little bit, and know that you’ve got the kids.
Allison Tyler Jones: So even during the shoot, as I’m posing people, as I’m directing people, especially a new client, as I’m talking to the kids and giving them these directions, the parents will be looking at the kids to see if they’re doing what I’m directing. So I will just call out to the parents, “Hey, mom and dad, don’t look at the kids. Nobody look at the baby.” Whoever I’m talking to, “Don’t look at the dog. You look at me, give me your best expression, and I’ll deal with the kids, or I’ll deal with the dog. You don’t look at them to see if they’re doing what I’m asking them to do. Just look at me, give me your best expression, and then I’ll deal with them.” And so really, that helps.
Allison Tyler Jones: Another thing that I tell parents as they’re leaving the consultation is that there’s no need to have any kind of bribing, nagging, or threats going on. No bribes to be good during the photo shoot, because this puts the photo shoot in the same category as going to the dentist.
Allison Tyler Jones: But so many people are having their family photographed every year, and they have to bribe their kids because the kids don’t want to do it, because it’s not a good experience. Well, in our studio, our goal is always to make it a great experience, that the session itself is actually fun, and memorable, and becomes a memory that is then documented to go on their walls. But that isn’t always the case. If they’re coming to you as a new client, they might’ve been photographed by somebody who didn’t make it fun for them. And so they’ve had to bribe their kids, especially their boys and the husbands, to play ball.
Allison Tyler Jones: But I find that that puts the kids in a mood of, “Okay, this is not going to be fun.” So I will say, instead of nagging, or bribing, or threatening them, say something to your kids like, “We’re going to go to Ms. Allison’s studio. It’s going to be super fun. We’re going to play, take some pictures. And when I walked into her studio, I saw an entire wall of candy,” something like that. So encouraging is going to be fun. Barring even encouraging them, just stop with the bribery and the threats.
Allison Tyler Jones: A few very common mistakes that I see portrait photographers make in photographing children is number one, not ready to go. Kids are a ticking time bomb from the second they walk in the door. They are not going to wait for you to set up your gear and test it, so you should have everything pretested, ready to shoot the minute they arrive. If you’re meeting them on location, you should know the spots that you’re going to shoot. You should have it dialed, and a plan to manage the flow of where you’re shooting, in what order, and how you’re going to do it, so that the energy is maintained, that everybody has a good time.
Allison Tyler Jones: Number two, not taking control or taking charge of everything that happens on your photographic set. Regardless of where that set is, that is the mark of a professional is taking control. It is your job to create amazing images of your client’s children. You have to call the shots in order to make that happen. And establishing that expectation happens in the client consultation.
Allison Tyler Jones: So not taking control and letting mom walk up with, “I’ve got my Pinterest boards on my phone, and here’s what we want to do.” That’s not how I work. I already have the ideas. I already know what it is that we’re shooting for, and I’m going to manage the order that we’re shooting in. I’m going to manage the personalities on set. I’m going to manage all of it, and I’m going to direct the shoot from beginning to end.
Allison Tyler Jones: Now, of course, there’s going to be serendipity. Things will be happening. Kids will want to try things. And so there’s always enough play in the schedule and in my plan to allow serendipity to happen. But not taking control makes your client feel like, “Wait a minute.” It makes them feel like they have to take control, and that’s never a good thing. You need to be in charge of it.
Allison Tyler Jones: Now, another mistake is taking too much control. So you do need to be in control, but you also have to go with the flow of what’s happening at the moment. So if you’re stuck on a certain pose, it’s something that you’ve wanted to try, and it’s just not working, or you’re getting frustrated because the kid isn’t performing, you need to take a deep breath and look at what is in front of you, rather than what isn’t. Don’t stay with the same setup or pose for too long. If it’s not working, move on.
Allison Tyler Jones: Another common mistake is trying too hard. Kids and dogs can smell a phony a mile away. And if you come on too strong or too ooey gooey, and too soon, you’re going to turn them off. So again, treat them with respect as you would any adult. You wouldn’t talk in a patronizing, syrupy, sweet voice to an adult peer. So don’t use that tone with kids either.
Allison Tyler Jones: Another big mistake is not being in the moment. Worrying more about the shot you have in your mind that you’re going to do next rather than the shot that is in front of you is a sure path to frustration. The beauty of children is that they live in the moment. Let their energy and personality take you on a journey, and you might be surprised where you end up.
Allison Tyler Jones: Another big mistake is not being true to the kid. Some kids are natural smilers, and others just have a more sober countenance. If you ask your subject to do something and they really don’t want to do it, just move on. Don’t even try it. If they’re just like, “That feels weird,” or they kind of give you a weird look, let their energy and personality take you on their journey. And again, you’re going to be surprised where you end up. Don’t try to force something that’s not natural, because it will not ring true in the final image.
Allison Tyler Jones: The parent can see it. I’ve had it happen because I’ve done it. Some kid who is a natural smiler, but they look so amazing and beautiful with a sober expression, and I’m clutching my pearls over how beautiful their eyes are when they’re giving me the sober serious expression. And the parent looks at it and is like, “Yeah, that’s totally not him. He never does that face.” So we do it because we are creative, and we see a beautiful kid, and we want to try something. But again, you got to go with what is true to that kid.
Allison Tyler Jones: Another huge mistake is to get the energy too amped up too soon. So I always will start with the calmer, more posed type shots, and then work up to the crazy. Because once you get into the three ring circus stage, there’s no pulling it back to a place of calm. You then need to send them out the door with their parents once we’ve gotten to cuckoo crazy. So that’s a warning. Don’t call out the clowns, and the balloons, and the acrobats at the beginning. Save that for the end of the shoot.
Allison Tyler Jones: Another huge error that I have made in the past is not rescheduling a portrait session when a child is sick. Sick kids just can’t perform well. And even if you manage to capture some decent images, the mom is going to look at those photos and say, “I can tell that she was sick.” Reschedule. Even when the mom… I have had this happen where the mom’s like, “Yeah, she woke up this morning with kind of a cold, but I think we can make it work.” It’s just, “Nope, we need to reschedule.” And I tell them why. But when I haven’t done that, invariably, they look at the images and they’re like, “I could tell she’s sick.”
Allison Tyler Jones: The last big mistake is not doing a client consultation. I’ve heard every excuse in the book for why photographers don’t do a consultation, and I really don’t think any of them are valid. Take the time to get the low down on the kids, and let the parents know how you work. This is going to eliminate about 80% of the problems you run into during a shoot and after. So do it.
Allison Tyler Jones: Okay. So that’s it. Those are my suggestions as we head into the crazy busy season, and you’re having clients come into your studio, or you’re meeting your clients on location, and you’re trying to get great expression from them. Whether you’ve been photographing for a short period of time or you’ve been in business a long time, sometimes it’s helpful to think through the different types of personalities and common problems that you’ve run into.
Allison Tyler Jones: If you find that you’re running into a similar problem over and over and over again, that’s when you need to take a minute and really think through, “Okay, how do I want to handle this the next time?” So after every session that I conduct, I kind of do a postmortem on it like, “Okay, this was really good. I feel like we never really pulled in kid number four.” Or, “The dad was great, but the mom seemed super stressed, and I just don’t feel like we were able to put her at ease. And so how can we do better at that next time?”
Allison Tyler Jones: So having a debrief with your assistant, or even if you’re the only one that’s shooting, and just make some notes about what went well, what didn’t go well, and how you can take what went well into your next session. And how can you make something that didn’t go as well, make it better?
Allison Tyler Jones: So, laying the groundwork with a good client consultation, getting the details on each kid. And then as you encounter these personalities over and over again, finding a way to work with the kids that are hard for you. The personality traits that tend to be harder for you to work with, that’s maybe a type of kid that you need to have your assistant deal with. Or just learn some new coping strategies and how to shrink that kid. Get into that kid psych 101 for every single one of your clients.
Allison Tyler Jones: I love if you have a minute and could DM me any great ideas that you’ve had or experiences that you’ve had with very difficult kids, or maybe a really big success that you’ve had with working with children or with their families. I’d love to hear what your ideas or problems you’re experiencing. So go to @do.the.rework on Instagram. Or my portrait studio’s Instagram is @atjphoto. Or you can email us at support@dotherework.com. Would love to hear from you. So go forth and conquer. It’s going to be a great busy season. Hope you have an amazing time with your clients this fall.
Recorded: You can find more great resources from Allison at dotherework.com and on Instagram @do.the.rework.
